It’s No Fun Being the Sad Therapist
Welcome, dear reader! Today, we’re peeling back the therapy couch cover and looking at a rarely discussed fact: therapists, like everyone else, can wrestle with their own mental health issues. Yes, even those of us who are professional listeners and help to guide you towards the answers that best suit your life can find ourselves on the rough end of anxiety and depression. It’s no fun being the sad therapist, and here’s why—but fear not, we’ll keep it light and enlightening!
Surprise…Your Therapist is Also Human
First things first, let’s bust a myth: being a therapist doesn’t grant immunity against mental health challenges. Just like your medical doctor can catch a cold, your therapist might be dealing with anxiety or depression (it’s part of the human condition). The big question then is: “If my therapist is sad, anxious, or depressed, how can they help me?” Well, let’s turn that around for a moment—would you refuse to see a doctor for a broken arm just because they might be dealing with high blood pressure? Unlikely! Mental health therapists are trained to stand outside of your fire objectively and point out the perspective you may have missed or couldn’t investigate due to your proximity to the matter. This is the very reason I say, “I don’t trust therapists who don’t have therapists,” I mean, who is helping you uncover your blind spots.
What It’s Like Being the Sad Therapist
Imagine you’re a comedian who doesn’t feel like laughing. Now, picture being a therapist who is struggling to keep their own spirits up while trying to lift others. It’s a bit like being a lifeguard who’s just barely treading water themselves. It’s challenging and sometimes ironic, helping others find their peace when your own is hiding under the bed with the dust bunnies.
Now, I promise to delve into my own mental health journey a bit later in this blog. But suffice to say, it’s been a ride—like a rollercoaster that’s thrilling and a little bit terrifying.
Semicolon Day—A Pause for Reflection
Today, fittingly, is Semicolon Day. For those unfamiliar, Semicolon Day is a movement symbolized by a semicolon (;), representing a decision to continue when one could have chosen to end their sentence—metaphorically and literally. It’s particularly poignant for those of us in the mental health field, both as clinicians and individuals who might be struggling. It’s a reminder that our stories are not over; there’s more to write, live, and laugh about.
If you ask almost any therapist why they chose this field, many will say it was to ensure that others never encountered the pitfalls they did on their journey. I have heard colleagues say, “I wanted to heal myself.” Yes, I was that therapist; however, I have learned that I needed a guide on this journey, someone who had lived a life full of twists and turns and chose to continue their story. I’ve never sought out the perfect therapist because…SPOILER ALERT…they don’t exist. I am painstakingly clear with my clients that I don’t have all of the answers and that outside of the office door, all of my stuff is waiting for me to pick it back up. Life can be just as chaotic for therapists as it feels for therapists, and while we do not take an oath, we aim to do no harm and be honest with ourselves and clients about our capacity to treat them unimpaired.
Therapists Get Therapy Too…or They SHOULD
I’m not a big SHOULD girl. I don’t like to bog people down with what they should or shouldn’t be doing; however, therapy for a therapist is a BIG SHOULD! Many therapists, including yours, truly engage in their own therapy. It’s part of maintaining not just our mental health but our professional insight. Think of it as taking your car for a tune-up. Nobody wants to break down mid-journey, especially when you’re carrying passengers.
My Story
Man, where do I even begin? Well, because this isn’t the member, I’ll give you a few tidbits. I lost my father at 7 years old, I watched my mother battle with her grief, I am a survivor of child sexual abuse, and as a millennial adult, I struggle with imposter syndrome! Day in and day out, I continue my story because I feel deep in my bones that there is more to be told, but there are some days when I have to pause. Days where I worry that maybe I am not strong enough, that you all will find that I am a fraud, that you will learn that sometimes I cancel appointments because I don’t have the gumption to get out of bed. Then I remember this is why I do what I do.
While it is no fun being the sad therapist, I am also the real therapist, a flawed human being, a powerful voice, and a partner in healing who can say and mean, “I know that’s hard for you. I know that walking through life with the burden of betrayal from “safe” adults can feel like carrying boulders and worrying about what people would say if they knew only makes you not what to try, but what kind of life would that be?”
I love doing Socratic questioning with my clients. This is a therapeutic skill where we basically say, “So what if the thing you don’t want to happen happens? Then what.” My client usually finds that they live to try again, that 100% of their worst days are behind them, and they made it through. Being the sad therapist, I have the honor of holding space for that & reminding myself that I get to do that, too.
Why This Matters to You, the Reader
You might wonder, “What does all this have to do with me?” If nothing else, it humanizes the person sitting across from you in the therapy room. Knowing your therapist navigates their mental landscape can demystify the process and destigmatize the help-seeking journey. It shows that mental health issues don’t discriminate and that anyone can be affected—and, more importantly, that everyone can manage and even thrive despite them.
We’re All in This Together
Allow this exploration into the not-so-funny side of being a sad therapist to serve as a reminder that it’s perfectly okay to be a work in progress. Whether you’re a therapist or someone exploring their mental health journey, the path isn’t always smooth, but it’s walkable—often, with a bit of humor, a good support network, and the occasional reality check.
And remember, just as a semicolon reminds us to pause but continue, every day gives us a new chance to add to our story. So, let’s keep writing, keep laughing, and keep supporting each other. After all, the next chapter could be a real page-turner!
Thanks for joining me on this comedic yet earnest dive into the life of someone balancing the scales of mental health while tipping the scales of mental health awareness. Perfect is unattainable, and put together is boring. Your life is a beautiful tribute to all you have been through and all you will conquer!